Twice, actually. Not that we’re counting or anything.
You see several years ago I was bitten on the foot by a redback spider. For the uninitiated, these little beasts are… well… spiders. With a red stripe on their arses. Perhaps this spider identification chart will be of assistance?
After I was bitten I started to feel a bit average. Fronted up to one of those bulk billing McDoctor places, and was told that because the anti-venom treatment was pretty nasty, my best bet was to treat the symptoms and wait it out. “Redback not kill you,” said the doctor I saw. “Redback kill baby, kill old people, not kill you.” I filed away that information, hoping to never need it again.
I NEEDED IT AGAIN.
Saturday morning was a flurry of panic and chaos. Beloved had a market on and we decided that I would come and help her set up, then go to the gym, then home to get changed, then back to the market for pack up. But as they do, plans changed and I would up spending the day at the market. Which was quite fun actually. HOWEVER, it meant that my morning getting ready was no longer appropriate for an all day event.
It was early, I was in a hurry, I thought I’d be coming straight back home. So I didn’t put on that most basic of attire, the underpants.
MY GOD HOW I HAVE PAID FOR THIS NEGLECTFUL MOMENT.
Because somewhere, in the midst of hauling market gear and sitting on a camp chair that was festively decorated with spider webs, a redback crawled up my shorts and bit me fair and square in the midst of mine lady garden.
I told my GP yesterday and she wasn’t overly surprised.
So now, I am achey and sore and feeling quite pathetic, but I have a very good story to tell, which I have just told.
Have you ever been bitten by a spider? Have you ever been bitten in a delicate location before?