I bring to you news of savings


I am so freaking over telemarketing calls. Yes, we’re on the Do Not Call register. But sneaky companies are getting around it by saying they are not selling things, they are informing us of savings. Or deals. Or offers. Or special things we have been selected for. Or to let us know about local information.

Just piss off.

I tell them all sorts of things.

I can’t talk due to explosive gastro. I can’t talk because I am on the run from the law. I can’t confirm our details for them because a troll ate my tongue and there are some words I cannot say. I tell them it’s against my religion to talk to strangers during the assumed normal 24 hour period of a day, however if they can share the password that proves their ongoing engagement with enlightenment and sustainability then I can in turn confirm one item of information, such as my ability to process oxygen.

It’s fucking maddening.

In the last hour, we’ve had four calls. I’ve started singing to them. I like “Let it Go” but I’m not adverse to nursery rhymes.

The dogs are confused. I’m confused. And I am sick of answering the phone.

We had a few issues several months ago, where the home phone magically kept unplugging itself. Now, I want to have the home phone plugged in because it is how I can contact friends and family, and my besty recently moved interstate, so absolutely the home phone is essential. The problem is that with the home phone plugged in, we then become the prey for countless companies that are totally OK with interrupting and making an amount of calls that are bordering on harassing.

Here’s the thing: each time these damn companies call, we edge closer to just unplugging the phone. But I need the phone to be plugged in. Each time they call, I have to heave myself up and limp over to wherever the phone is. 9 times out of 10, it’s one of Those calls.

Here is the percentage of times that we are interested in what they have to say: 0%.

Here is the number of times that we want these calls: 0.

We’re registered, as I said, with Do Not Call. But still the calls come. I imagine if we have a spam filter on the phone, it would create a folder that would be bigger than our entire house. I am so freaking over it!

So, help me out here: Is it possible to maintain sanity and have a home phone?


7 responses »

  1. If you think about it, primarily the purpose of phones is to PAY a company to let people: 1. harass you 2. try to sell you things 3. ask poll questions 4. waste time with small talk
    They redeem themselves rarely, but not often enough. 😦
    Just my take on it. I’ve happily not carried a cell phone for more then six months and it’s working fine, since everyone else has a cellphone anyways for actual emergencies.


    • I agree with you Azure to an extent – being 6 weeks post ankle reconstruction, having access to being able to contact others in case of emergency has been pretty important. But you’re right – that’s the purpose of the home phone. I am hoping that the redeeming end of having that home phone is going to eventually cancel out all the bloody telemarketing!!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Let it go to answering service then call your friends/family back? I don’t know. Telemarketers are bottom feeders. YOU however are HILARIOUS. “Just piss off” Laughed out loud! Thank you for visiting my blog for it led me to you! Cheers, jules


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