I bought some very fast running shoes today. They look fast. They ooze activity and fitness and speed. I look quite the athlete in them. No, really.
I had a little think about how I would be able to start running again, and be able to wear shoes that are not my Cons and smell nice. Then I remembered I am still recovering from my most recent dance with clumsiness and that it’s two weeks until I see the ankle surgeon, thanks to that most recent turn around the dancefloor of missing ligaments.
But they look like the shoes of a capable soul.
In these new very fast running shoes, I image that I will surpass the post-operative expectations and commence training for the next Olympics. The hundred metre shuffle shall be my event of choice. I figure that is short distance enough to gain sufficient momentum that I might propel myself over the finish line, even if I trip within the first ten steps. The hundred metre stumble is an event that is yet to announce registration, however I accept that I may indeed be a natural for that one.
I tend to be quite consistent in my acts of clums. Consistency is key, after all.
There are some things, however, that I am very good at.
I am good at, for example, creating rude hats for breastfeeding babies:
And now I can do such things in my most excellent very fast running shoes. Don’t fret, petal – I am indeed in the very process of setting up an online store where you can purchase Naughty Corner beanies, beards and breasties. But for now, I will bask in the future greatness of my Olympic dreams.
Crochet marathon, anyone?