My glasses finally arrived:
They make me look quite wise, yes?
I picked them up yesterday and seriously, I have been loving myself sick in them. I can SEE everything in the world. Which is peculiar, given that they are exactly the same strength as my previous glasses. But these frames make me look so grown up and clever and wise, that I was honestly quite stunned when I made a series of poor decisions yesterday afternoon.
It started with the wind.
It’s been blowing an absolute gale here. The kind of wind where you see red shoes and stripy stockings poking out from under your house, and munchkins offer you lollipops as if they belong here. It’s so windy that I have been expecting to see Helen Hunt and her storm chasing friends come barrelling through Newcastle. It’s so windy that I have not been blamed for it once.
This is a step forwards, I feel.
I read somewhere or other that pets needed to be kept inside – information that I was quite pleased about as it signalled one thing: FURRY SLEEP OVER!
And I have to say, I could not see a single thing that could possibly go wrong.
Then the lights went out. And I decided to try to capture the moment of five in the bed, snuggled together for warmth and safety. It would work, I reasoned – after all, I have a flash.
I think those little green circles are puppy eyes.
The flash shall henceforth be known as The Flash That Stole Sleep.
The flash shocked all three dogs, and my beloved.
Scouty blamed Zelda. Zelda barked at Harry. Harry ran off the bed and barked out the window. Scouty followed him, and they both barked at the window. Zelda took the moment to crawl up the bed and take my pillow hostage. Then I heard Harry and Scouty rolling in… something. In the morning I realised they had been rolling in a pair of underpants that had been left on the floor. Rolling over, they both jumped back on the bed. Then one of them leaped over me to get to their bean bag. Finally, the chaos ceased when Scouty curled her 20+kg self up smack in the middle of the bed, her head plopped onto my tummy and fell asleep.
Did I mention Scout snores just as well as my beloved?
Fortunately, I was fast asleep soon after, thanks to the painkillers I am on for my ankle.
But my beloved tells me it was a Long, Long Night.
Those glasses that made me look so wise?
Just one poor decision, and now they make me look like this: