2014 has been the year of TRAVEL so far. It’s also been a year of many other things, but TRAVEL is the theme of this particular post.
Well, less about travel and more about souvenirs.
Those little bits and pieces that you collect throughout the trip to give to those who stayed behind and worked or studied or envied. Trinkets, usually. A pen, a postcard, duty free cigarettes and alcohol, carved wooden penises. Things that you see while you are a world away, relaxing and daydreaming. Something catches your eye (not literally if you are lucky) and you think of a worthy recipient.
I’ve received some ripper souvenirs. Nipple warmers. Finger puppets. Miniature Crocs. A sheep dog whistle. Drums. So when it was my turn to travel… I had some catching up to do.
But alas, I broke my ankle on day three of the cruise, so the majority of the shopping had to be carried out on board the Carnival Spirit cruise ship. While the shopping was good, nothing says love like a carved wooden penis.
Which is why I bought three.
This is the gift I collected for my dear friend The Cuppy Lady. It’s pictured below, with a crocheted poo that I made for her on the ship while sitting in a wheelchair with a broken ankle throbbing away:
Which seems to be the inspiration behind the gift the Cuppy Lady and her hubby brought home for me after their recent trip to Thailand.
Size doesn’t matter. It’s important to relax. Live like you’re a Thai ashtray. I’m positive that these are the messages this particular gift is meant to convey.
I can imagine the conversation as Cuppy and Hubby perused the gift shops. Apparently it was Hubby who spotted this particular gift, which was quickly met with approval from Cuppy. When it was given to me, I was told to avoid letting the Cuppy child see it. It was in a black bag, wrapped in newspaper. It was heavy. It felt circular and emitting a fragrance that resembled mischief and shame.
Here it is:
Yep. That’s a naked lady straddling the ashtray.
There really aren’t a lot of words that can follow that picture.
Suffice to say it is taking pride of place on the bookshelf, just in front of the roses one of my Cubs gave me. I won’t use it as an ashtray, in case it has voodoo properties and Cuppy begins thinking she’s menopausal. Plus, it would be terrible to age the female model by giving her ashy gray pubes in such a well-groomed area.
Over to you. Your best souvenir? The worst of the worst? What would you use my Thai Vag Ashtray for?