The quandry


My beloved is asleep. She’s an early-to-bed kind of person. I am not. I tend to err on the side of “less is more” when it comes to sleep. 

It’s 10 pm and I’m watching one of the many versions of shows about people who hoard. Usually they have at least 5 cats, 7 heaters and 18 toasters. Oh, and a hidden past. 

All is well until my eyes fall upon this: 


Yum, right? Very much so. 

But… not mine. 

My beloved scored these for Mothers Day from her son. She has had them for over 24 hours and has not opened them. Surely this means she doesn’t really want them? 

Why is it that stolen chocolate always tastes better than chocolate that is rightfully yours? It’s the same with mangos. My flatmate and I both enjoyed mango nom noms in Summer, and when we realised we could pilfer them from the tree over the fence, well! Mango season was one big swipe-athon. The only thing better than the stolen mangos off the tree was the stolen mangos off the tree that my flatmate had claimed as hers. They were so. So. SO good. 

But I digress.

Poor little box of Maltesers. 

I have comprised a list of why I should not steal them: 

  1. Because they are not mine.
  2. Because they were a Mothers Day Gift.

I have also comprised a list of why the Maltesers are rightfully mine: 

  1. I like chocolate.
  2. I have no chocolate.
  3. What’s mine is hers. 
  4. I like chocolate. 
  5. Particularly Maltesers.
  6. I like chocolate. 

The list goes on for quite some time. There are many, many reasons why I feel it would be OK for me to pop the pack and go munching. 


My beloved leaves for two weeks away tomorrow. And I know she is saving the Maltesers for the plane trip. And I have this beautiful mental image of her and her best mate rolling the Maltesers down the aisle of the plane, giggling like crazy women as they embark on the trip of a lifetime. I have had visions of them overstepping the line, and pegging Maltesers at the other passengers. Building elaborate Malteser sharing devices, using their tilt trays and disposable cutlery. So really, their need is greater than mine. 

And because I am so excited for my beloved and her besty. Because I want everything to be perfect for them. Because I am, in general, a pretty awesome chick. 

I will not steal her Maltesers. 

She better bring me back something impressive, though. 




6 responses »

  1. Yo are better than I,if I wasn’t gluten free, I would have eaten them, then raced out in a mad panic looking for a late night shop so I could replace them! Actually when I do go to steal chocolate, I always consider the availability of a replacement before I let my dark side take over entirely :p


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