The sack in the hallway


Here is a hot tip: chairs with wooden legs slide quite nicely, however if you are sliding them over tiles you should make yourself aware of  grout or gaps between tiles.

Here is another hot tip: wheelchairs may not fit easily through your cabin door.

One more hot tip?

If you’ve recently made your way through five surgeries for your arms and wrists, and you’re currently wearing a wrist splint? Crutches are hard work.

Last night I rocked the boat. As is my will. My beloved and I had an awesome time doing karaoke with a band. For three minutes, she was Joan Jett and I was Jet. She loved rock and roll and I asked if she was going to be my girl. Sure there may have been more talented people there. But we were louder and more enthusiastic. We were given Artist tags and for a few moments I considered trying to use my tag to get back stage.

Then I got backstage in a very rock star way.

It was close to 1am when my beloved and I were making our way back to the cabin. We were giggling, not really overly drunk, we’d just had our goodnight cuppas. And then from out of nowhere, the air leaped up and knocked me to my feet. Friends, I went down like a sack of shit. This was a phrase that I’m pretty sure Nurse Misty from the USA wasn’t familiar with. It certainly didn’t cut it as a sufficient incident report.

Meanwhile, my ankle continued to change shape.

Last night the verdict wasn’t good: possibly fractured ankle, won’t find out for sure til we dock at Nouméa and get to their emergency clinic. Apparently the xray stuff is being reinstalled the day the cruise ends. Til then? I have to sit quietly, preferably with my foot elevated, and find out about back slabs to stabilise the joint this morning. The cruise folk have been awesome sauce, however I’d prefer not to need as much help as I’m needing.

So. Is the foot broken? Will we get a refund on our shore excursion tickets? Back slab or no back slab? Is this as unromantic as it gets? Have you ever sat on a cruise toilet and flushed it and been scared of having your entire intestine system sucked out of your bottom hole?


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