Once upon a time, Lady Naughty Corner surveyed the land and summoned from all the dating sites a true gentleman. A gentleman of no more than 40 years, no less than thirty. A gentleman of noble musical tastes and gainful employ. A gentleman who could prove her heterosexuality, and grant her three children and acceptance into the cultural norm.
Lady Naughty Corner arranged dates with suitors three.
Suitor the first was a fellow who fell outside of the age requirements, and as a result would not be crossing the moat that led to Lady Naughty Corner’s welcome mat.
Suitor the second emitted a peculiar odour. Not from any specific orifice: this was more a stench that, as it leaked across the coffee shop, spoke of slackened sphincters and abandoned goals.
It was after the initial meetings that Lady Naughty Corner began to worry. The princess who freaked out about a pea under her mattress, for example, perhaps would have been better off avoiding sleep altogether. Could it be that Lady Naughty Corner might be better matched with… a fellow lady?
With commitment, Lady Naughty Corner arrived to meet suitor the third. Twas at a local coffee shop where the young man waited, smiling gently and appearing frightfully normal. Lady Naughty Corner felt a flicker of hope as she perched gracefully opposite a gentleman who fit into the age parameters, had a stable job and smelled of cleanliness and hope.
Hours flicked by merrily as the two sipped at caffeinated beverages. All was well and Lady Naughty Corner was aware of the potential for moat-crossing to occur.
It was the setting sun that revealed that suitor the third had a preference not for being a knight in shining Armani, but a dud in dirty diapers.
Lady Naughty Corner had managed to secure a date with a suitor who enjoyed wearing nappies.
Some years went by, and Lady Naughty Corner embraced a new life. One where the moat would only be crossed by female suitors, of whom she had selected only the best to call her beloved.
It was a cool evening, however, when the past came knocking and Lady Naughty Corner received a series of picture messages of a young man in a variety of poses, sporting nothing more than a diaper and smug smile.
This was the reminder Lady Naughty Corner required to realise how very good her life was, and Lady Naughty Corner and her beloved lived happily ever after, with no reference to nappies or diapers in their near future.