Smoke and mirrors


There’s back burning happening nearby and as a result I’ve got all my washing strung about my bedroom.

It’s the third day after surgery and I’m beginning to despair. My hand is kind of numb feeling and I’m finding it hard to fake enthusiasm. Instead I smile and say things are ok when really they’re not. Not even close.

What if it’s been for nothing?

What if I’m not ever going to be able to play again?

As a lesbian, I feel like I’ve been kicked in the nuts. As a creative person I can’t find those new ways to feel. And as an individual, I’m watching on as different aspects of life can be emulated thanks to smoke, mirrors and identity theft.

It’s hard to believe there’s anything left.

But today, there is a promise of adventure and outing. A date with my beloved later tonight. Wind blowing away the smoke and with luck, this shitful mood.


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