Nothing signals the end of the day like taking off my bra and shaking out the bits that have been collected in it.
I feel that most women share my enthusiasm and commitment to unshackling the girls and free-flopping for the rest of the day. No Pants Sunday is another nudity event that I love, however I recognise now that it isn’t an activity that everyone takes part in – kind of like the respecting of Tony Abbott. Setting the girls free is surely a universal moment, approached with an anticipation that reeks of religious fervour.
I got my nipple pierced a few years ago, and while the moment was horrifying, it was relatively painless. What isn’t painless is having local anaesthetic injected into your areola. I then spent the next week proudly flashing my nipple to anyone who looked like they might be interested. TAFE lecturers, petrol station attendants, friends, countrymen… More people saw my nipple the week after I got pierced than had seen it in at least the twelve months prior to puncture.
I have kept to myself the inconvenience of having to wear nipple guards. The difficulties surrounding trying to get anti-infection stuff onto the piercing site twice a day. The dangers associated with putting a shot glass of Betadine on your nipple then performing a somewhat graceful back flop onto the bed. However, all this aside? I love my piercing. Love it.
But I hate wearing a bra. It isn’t about discomfort, it isn’t about itchiness.
I just hate feeling restricted.
But I have had a train of thought recently, which has had some brain cells ticking over an idea.
Her bra is her mask, yet also a weapon and item of salvation, key to the rescue of many a small man in distress. She’s not only faster than a speeding bullet, but she can calculate the speed versus time equation and meet the bullet at the place it will land (correct to one centimetre). She’s more powerful than a locomotive, and she can also drive, build and repair said locomotive. Bra Babe can leap tall buildings in a single bound, but only when necessary. She’s often just too busy with other important shit.
Bra Babe. Yes. Yes, I think this could be good.
But would she have to actually wear a bra? Because those things are crappy as all hell.